The Bane of the Easter Dress

Easter dresses and archery? Some many question the connection between the two, but any former little girls out there blessed with ample upper body strength may remember the stinging pinch of elastic from the brand new, short-sleeved Easter dress.

Through the modern miracle of online shopping, the explosion of stores in my local area, and the act of supporting a friend on Weight Watchers, my upper arms and I held a sort of truce. They would let me fit into most things, barring the occasional punjabi dress with short, tight sleeves. But I even managed to get a few of those punjabi dresses in my collection after forays on Oak Tree Road in Edison.

But then came archery. My arms and I we still worked together, enjoying a new hobby. Then the hobby became serious, and the coach said push-ups. Yes, push-ups. I didn't balk--my coach seems to know everything, and I respect him for it. So I started the push-ups. Ten a day coupled with my regular hundred arrow practice rounds. Then I realized I could do sets of push-ups. Three sets of ten. My arm muscles formerly toned but not tough said hell yeah and decided to "get physical." Those punjabi dresses, tried on in November for our annual Diwali Party, were a no go. Cute sweaters bought last year--nope. Black wool, Calvin Klein dress coat--nope.

My first thought, as with most women, is ohmigod, you are fat. So I checked in the "skinny jeans." You know that pair--they make you look your best but only if you can get into them. Well, they still fit. Red, sexy dress with a tank top style--also fit. I officially wasn't fat. I was butch as an archery buddy called it. Admonishing me, he said, "just don't cut your hair."

The memory of those Easter dresses came flying back at me, but this time, instead of embracing the mythology of one size is all that pervades the American female mind, I decided to let it go and keep doing the damn push-ups. I can hold a shot longer and steadier. I feel stronger and love the feeling of tight muscles under skin. I look forward to doing my exercises, and if I don't complete as many sets, my first thought is that I owe myself one more. I owe myself. For the first time, being fit isn't about fitting in--fitting in to a beauty standard, fitting in a certain size blouse--it is about fitting into my goals for myself.

Trust Yourself

This lesson is at once scary and liberating and seemingly hard to remember. In the beginning, archers are warned not to change their sight (the tool that lets them aim) until they can shoot a meaningful group. In the beginning, this meant you could shoot twenty, thirty, forty arrows before you could know enough about your shoot pattern to move your sight. Then you get better and learn more and guess what--you shoot groups in a lot fewer arrows. Then you move your sight after ten or so. But then you get to the next level, where I found myself today.

In preparation for the World Indoor Team Trials, I had to practice shooting at the vertical 40CM face. That means three circles in a row. I shot at the bottom circle--the arrow is low and to the right. I shoot at the middle circle--again low and to the right. I move my sight. I shoot at the top circle--right in the middle.

How many times did I not move my sight until that last circle today? Too many to count! What I did I learn? Stop second guessing myself. If I shoot a good arrow, if everything felt in place, trust it and move the damn sight right then and there.

Sometimes when we grow or change it is tough to let go of who we used to be or what we used to do. Part of making change permanent is to accept it--allow yourself the privilege of letting the past go. This week I am going to trust myself and give myself permission to succeed. I can do this. We can all do this.

Make New Friends but Keep the Old....

One is silver and the other gold. Okay, this lesson was driven home for me as I struggled with setting my fingers on the string accurately and effective. Twice, I forgot lessons that I learned earlier, only to have to relearn them this week. The boring details: finish with the finger placement you started with. In my case, if my thumb and pinkie are touching at the beginning, they damn well better be touching at the end of the shot. B.) Don't pull the string until you raise the bow. The is no way to calibrate how much you pulled it; you can't do it the same each time, so don't even try. Waiting to pull the entire string in one movement, for me, results in tighter groups. I feel foolish for forgetting these hard earned lessons.

Well how does this extrapolate to life? Well, like most people I can get fascinated by the new: new people, new places, new things to do. But sometimes new is not better. Sometimes an old friend with their understanding and knowing really, truly is better than a person you may not really know at all. Maybe I'll get up enough guts to talk about exact how this applies to my own life, but that will take some time. All I know is this: we must count our blessings---and remember them.

First Lesson

While it is tough to think back two and half years ago to the first lesson I learned in archery, aside from the basics of shooting safety, what comes to mind is the pleasure we can find if we follow our children's hearts.

My then six year old "Blessing" decided she wanted to be in a Renaissance Faire or the Olympics. Santa knowingly left a rudimentary bow and arrow for her under the tree. With only three arrows, the shooting was a tad boring. Shoot three, pick them up. Shoot three, pick them up. So off we went to that archery store we had seen, X-Ring Archery in Lambertville, New Jersey.

Jon Bach, the great guy that runs the store and school, was thrilled to see a newcomer looking to buy arrows, but he was even more adamant that my six year old take classes to learn how to shoot properly. Somehow he used his talents of persuasion and myself and my brother equivalent found ourselves enrolled alongside Blessing for archery school.

When we began class in September 2006, we never imagined that archery would be a glue to join us together as a family and lead us to making so many friends. My husband soon joined us in shooting, and now, we travel everywhere we can to take part in competitions, looking forward to seeing new friends from many places along the way.

Archery took its place in my heart as one of my biggest passions. It inspires me to take better care of myself, lets me share an activity with my pre-tween, and motivates me to try harder and learn more. Through this sport, I have learned so much more than how to stick an arrow in a target. I look forward to sharing those lessons here. And it all began because I followed my daughter--sometimes we do need to let the children lead the way.